3 Ways to Defuse Church Rivalries

Although partnering with other ministries and churches has some tremendous benefits, there can be some hinderances to a partnership developing.  It’s called Church Rivalries.  I have seen church rivalries develop on retreats and even mission trips before – yes, even mission trips!  But, the one that had the most impact on me was a local rivalry that I never thought would have happened. When I worked at Young Life, I developed a good friendship with Chris Craddock.  The year after I left Young Life to start working for Cedar Run, Chris began working for another local Church.  So when he started working at his new church, a little friendly rivalry began as we knew many of the same students from working with Young Life.  Christ and I never viewed this “rivalry” talk as anything serious as we had a lot of respect for each other.  But students did not quite take it the same way.  In fact, as many new believers who had no Church “home” of their own had to choose between going to my Church or Chris’, a “whose youth program is better” mentality broke out with the students.  Students at both of our Churches would constantly be recruiting and even negative recruiting their friends to come to their Church.  I have no problem with recruiting and pumping up your specific Church.  But when you resort to negative recruiting against another godly organization, that is when you’ve crossed the line.  Unfortunately, no matter how hard Chris and I tried to defuse the “rivalry”, students still had this “us” verses “them” mentality, which, as you might imagine, caused tension between students and even some of our leaders. When rivalries develop, it can be very detrimental and dangerous to the health of our work.  After all, we are in the business of bringing students into a loving relationship with Christ in which he constantly promoted that everyone mattered and everyone is equal in his eyes (i.e. the Good Samaritan and the woman at the well).  When rivalries develop and tensions run high between two or more ministries, it goes counter to everything Christ believed and stood for.  Christ called us to love God and love others (Matthew 22:36-40).  You do not need to be a rocket scientist to realize when rivalries start, loving God and others is not always displayed.  Therefore, instead of bringing people together and uniting them for the kingdom of God, we resort to bad-mouthing great ministries. But, there are at least 3 possible ways to defusing rivalries:

1. Local rivalries – partner together for combined events.  It could be a social, discipleship or outreach event in which you gather both Churches together.   Be very intentional about that time together as you attempt to build community and to give the students a kingdom mindset.  It may not happen after just 1 time together so plan to do a few events together.  That way, over time, students can begin to form bonds together that will hopefully defuse any potential rivalries.
2. Trip rivalries – Talk to the other trip leaders during the first leaders meeting.  Just throw it out there that tensions can possibly run high during events or work and that we should, as a leadership team, quickly defuse any tension or rivalry that would develop.  By getting it out in the open, you all can talk about it and everyone in leadership will start keeping an eye open to potential issues.
3. Ultimately, defusing Church rivalries can happen by giving students a kingdom mindset.  As leaders, we are striving to bring more students into the heavenly kingdom where we are all united under same body.  Other ministries and Churches are striving to do the same thing.  So, whether we always agree on things or not, we have to keep a kingdom mindset.  Rejoice with others when God moves in their midst and pray for them when trying times come about. If you and your leadership team are committed to kingdom building, then it doesn’t matter if your Church is better than the next one.  All that matters is that students are coming to know Christ and that they will be joining you in the Kingdom of Heaven one day.  Once you and your leadership team have that kingdom mindset, you can effectively teach it and give it away to your students.  Then, hopefully, rivalries will be limited and more students will be entering into a relationship with Christ because of it.

So, what do you think? TAKE A MINUTE and think about how you have seen Church/Ministry rivalries develop and how you have attempted to defuse them.  Post a comment so that all of us can benefit from knowing other potential ways to defuse them.

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