I have a love/hate relationship with running. I really don’t like to run, but I love the benefit I get from running. So, when I start off each run, I’m pretty angry because it isn’t what I want to be doing.
However, the reason why I primarily run angry because when I run, I process and when I process, it gets messy. Weird probably, but by messy I mean that I process my ministry, my friendships, my parenting, and all things in between. And, for me, all those things have never been as easy as sitting on my couch eating bon bons…it’s a little messy. That is why when I run, it often turns angry real quick.
But here is the deal with running angry. Running angry causes me to Run Focused. It focuses me on the Lord. I know, sounds kind of weird, but when I run it is a chance for me to put on some music, scream out (in my mind) and talk to God about all that is going on. Again, my life is messy but running…
- lets me vent, get the emotions out (so I don’t go out and blast them onto someone else). So, to start the run out, I have some secular, angry music (not Megadeath angry) but angry music. It allows me scream it out and get my frustrations out. But as I get mad, it settles me a little. For me it’s a healthy processing that I do and it all starts with the music selection.
- causes me to seek God for answers (Why is this happening? What is He trying to show me?). Psalm 55:16 says, “But I call to God, and the Lord will save me.” When I’m running, I call to God and seek His answers…not always immediately but the more I call to him and listen, the more I hear his answers.
- allows God to minister to me. Even though I start running with harder, angry music, I always end my runs with Christian music that focuses me on the Lord and his calling on my life. That is where I can end the run with a healthy, more positive attitude rather than the angry start I usually have.